What is a Frienemy? Someone who appears to be your friend – but wars against your soul (worldly influencers).
Other than the Word of God, and the Holy Spirit; there is probably nothing of greater influence, either positively or negatively, in your Christian life – than the friends you choose.
Simply because those you spend time with – you become like.
The time you spend with friends is likely far greater than the time you spend in God’s Word. If your friends do not walk in the Fear of the LORD, then neitherdoyou.
Remember, just because a Friend makes a poor choice doesn’t mean they are a frienemy. All of us have made mistakes or chosen wrong actions. This is youropportunity to be salt and light, an opportunity for you to be a Godly Friend. Be a Reflector of the Light of Jesus! Be the fragrance of Christ.
Hebrews 10:24 says we are to provoke one another to love and good works. That means to challenge, to call to action.
Galatians 6:1 says, if anyone of you is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore him gently.
James 5:20 says, whoever turns a sinner from the error of his ways, saves a soul from death and covers a multitude of sins.
Hebrews 10:24 also says we should "consider" one another, or observe fully, so we can challenge each other to obedience.
This is what we will do if we Fear the LORD, if we really love our friends, and want to see God’s blessing in their life. If your friend makes a poor choice and does something that doesn’t reflect the life of a follower of Christ, Talk to them about it! Speak the Truth in Love. Take them aside privately, and in humility appeal to them.
If you love them, you will.
“Did you really mean to do that? I know that you want to honor God, and that just doesn’t seem like you," or “Would you consider praying about apologizing to that person,” or “Did you really mean to Re-Tweet that? Is that avoiding every appearance of evil? - I just want God to be able to bless you in every way!" or “that quote really doesn’t line up with scripture, that's worldly advice, remember the verse that says...” or “did you realize that might come across as prideful? that’s not like you!” or “Do you think God might have you “un-tweet that”? or send an update? It would be a powerful testimony to others of Godliness, and I know God will bless you for it. What do you think?”
The response you get might vary. 1) “Thank you so much, you’re right… I’ll do it.” or you might get...
2) “You’re basic, BYE!” or 3) "Yeah, you're probably right"... but they keep repeating these kinds of behaviors...
These last two are Frienemies. You will need the Fear of the LORD and Courage.
The Fear of the LORD is to hate evil. If you are not willing to leave friends who have a heart for the world, rather than a heart for God; you do not have the Fear of the LORD.
You have to choose to be pleasing to God over being pleasing to your friends. If not, you will never be in position for God’s blessing. You will fall under the judgment and destruction that will come on them.
Listen to this verse:
Psalms 25:6-7 - Remember O LORD your great mercy and love for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways. According to your love remember me, for you are good O LORD.
How will this possibly happen? In other words, how will God “not” remember the sins of your youth, when you are continually with the same friends who have influenced or enticed you to sin? How will God “not” remember the sins of your youth when you keep the same company that you did then? Or others like them?
For God NOT to remember the sins of your youth: you must distance yourself from them.
The only way to distance yourself from the sins of your youth, is to distance yourself from those who continue to do them! Otherwise, God cannot - “Not remember.” Your sins are continually thrown in his face, and new ones will surely, surely be added to them. Because that is what those friends do… they sin. And they will influence you to do the same.
I John 5:18 - We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin…
I John 3:6 - No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.
I John 3:9 - No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in him he cannot go on sinning.
Psalms 101:3 - I will set before my eyes no vile thing (unclean thing) The deeds of faithless men I hate; they will not cling to me
So What Do I Do Now Regarding Friendships?
Step #1: Be Honest With Yourself About Frienemies! Ask God To Reveal
Psalms 1:1-3 - Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the path of sinners or sit in the seat of the scornful.
Are your friends the ones these verses speak of?
A) The counsel of the wicked. (what they tell you sounds right, but it’s not of God, it’s not Scriptural) B) The path of sinners (hanging out with them, puts you walking the same path) C) The seat of the scornful. (those who disdain Godly teaching & expectations of Godly behavior – they will usually accuse anyone who disapproves of their wicked behavior as being judgmental)
Are You one?Are you a Frienemy? It’s hard to get rid of Frienemies – if you are one. Change! Repent. Ask God to Forgive you. Walk in the Fear of the LORD, and reject every appearance of evil.
Step #2: Dis-Associate From All Frienemies! Cut them off.
So your relationship with God can be restored So he can "remember not" the sins of your youth So your testimony can be re-established So your reputation can be rebuilt So you can be in position for the blessing of God – not his punishment So you can learn the Fear of the LORD.
Why Cut Off All Frienemies?
If you don’t, you will be destroyed Prov 29:27 - He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed.
It proves your love for God. You cannot walk in the Fear of The LORD if you are not willing to cut off all Frienemies – they will continually influence you to sin.
Proverbs 8:13 - To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.
Galatians 1:10 - Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Psalms 36:1 - I have a message from God in my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked. There is no Fear of God before their eyes. (They do not have the Fear of the LORD – if they did they would hate evil – not re-tweet it, or hang out with people who do.)
If you love your friends more than God, you do not love God. I John 2:15 - Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
John 12:42-43 - Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith (in Christ) for fear they would be put out of the synagogue. For they loved praise from men more than praise from God.
Proverbs 28:4 - Those who forsake instruction praise the wicked, but those who follow it resist them. (This includes defending worldly friends, sticking up for them despite their godless behavior, making excuses for them, rather than confronting them in love - and if unrepentant... resisting them.)
Proverbs 29:25 - Fear of man will prove to be a (deadly) snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.
You cannot be righteous if you will not cut off all Frienemies. Proverbs 12:26 - The righteous choose their friends carefully. But the way of the wicked leads them astray.
You cannot be wise if you will not CUT OFF all Frienemies. Proverbs 10:23 - A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom.
Proverbs 12:5 - The thoughts of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful.
(If you don't cut off frienemies, you will continually be confused and deceived, because their advice is your input.)
Cutting off All Frienemies: It will keep you safe, your very life is at stake! Proverbs 5:14-17 - Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men. Avoid it, Do not travel on it, turn from it and go on your way. For they cannot sleep til they do evil, they are robbed of slumber until they make someone fall.
2 Peter 3:17 - I am warning you ahead of time, dear friends. Be on your guard so that you will not be carried away by the errors of these wicked people and so lose your own secure footing.
Psalms 140:4 - Keep me safe O LORD, from the control of evil people. Protect me from the violent, who devise ways to trip my feet.
Proverbs 25:26 - A righteous person who yields to the wicked is like a muddied spring or polluted well.
Psalms 119:110 - The wicked have set a snare for me, but I have not wandered from your precepts.
Romans 16:17 - Now I urge you brothers, to watch out for those who create divisions and sinful enticements that oppose the teaching you have learned. Stay away from them.
To be a man or woman after God’s own heart: You must cut off all frienemies. Look what David Did! Psalms 26:5 - I hate the company of those who practice evil, nor do I sit with the wicked. Psalms 6:8 - Away from me all you who do evil. For the LORD has heard my weeping. Psalms 119:115 - Away from me, you evil doers – that I may keep the commands of God. Psalms 26:5 - I hate the company of those who practice evil, nor do I sit with the wicked.
Psalms 139: 21-22 - Do I not hate those who hate you and abhor those who are in rebellion against you. I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
GOD’S WORD Tells us specifically to CUT OFF all frienemies. Direct commands. I Corinthians 15:33-34 - Do not be misled. Bad company corrupts good character. Come back to your senses, for there are some who are ignorant of God – I say this to your shame.
Proverbs 1:10 - My son, if sinners entice you – do not give into them.
Colossians 3:5 - So put to death the sinful earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust and evil desires. Don’t be greedy for a greedy person is an idolater worshipping the things of this world.
Ephesians 5:3-4 - But among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity, or of greed, for these are improper for God’s Holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure. No immoral, impure, or greedy person – such a man is an idolater – has any place in the Kingdom of Christ and God.
Ephesians 5:6-7 - Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.
Ephesians 5:8-12 - For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the LORD. Live as children of the light. For the fruit of the light consists of goodness, righteousness and truth. And find out what pleases the LORD. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful what the disobedient do in secret.”
Ephesians 5:17 - Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the LORD is.
I Corinthians 5:9 - I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people… not at all meaning the people of this world… But now, I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater, or a slanderer, or a drunkard or a swindler; with such a man do not even eat.
If you are unwilling to CUT OFF all frienemies: IF you delay, if you go back to them… YOU ARE the wicked – along with them. The judgment that comes on them will come on you.
Ezra 9:14 - Should we again break the commandments and join in affinity with the people of these abominations? Would you not be angry with us until you have consumed us? So there would be no remnant or any who escape?
Ephesians 5:6-7 - Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.
Proverbs 29:27 - He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed.
Proverbs 24:21-22 - My child, fear the LORD and the king, and do not associate with the rebellious, for disaster will hit them suddenly. Who knows what punishment will come from the LORD and the king.
Proverbs 26:11 - As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.
Proverbs 5:22 - The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him, the chords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.
Proverbs 13:21 - Disaster pursues sinners, but the righteous will be rewarded with prosperity.
Proverbs 4:19 - The way of the wicked is as darkness. They do not know what makes them fall.
Psalms 119:155 - Salvation is far from the wicked, for they do not seek out your decrees.
II Chronicles 20:35,37 - And after this did Jehoshaphat, King of Judah, join himself with Ahaziah, King of Israel who did very wickedly. Eliezer… prophesied against Jehoshaphat saying “because you have made an alliance with Ahaziah the LORD will destroy what you have made. The ships were wrecked and were not able to sail…
If you are unwilling to CUT OFF all frienemies. You will try to hear from God – but you won’t. You will call, but he won’t answer. What you think is him leading you – and directing you is not - no matter how much you pray.
Proverbs 1:28 - Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me diligently but will not find me.
John 9:31 - We know that God does not hear sinners, but if anyone is God-fearing and does his will – He hears him.
Proverbs 15:29 - The LORD is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the upright. Proverbs 1:24 - But since I have called and you refused to listen, I stretched out my hand and no one paid attention Proverbs 1:25 - since you ignored my counsel, and did not accept my correction: Proverbs 1:26 - So I will laugh at your calamity, I will mock when fear comes on you; Proverbs 1:27 - when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you.
Proverbs 1:28 - Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me diligently but will not find me. Proverbs 1:29 - Since they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD: Proverbs 1:30 - Since they would not accept my counsel and paid no attention when I corrected them. Proverbs 1:31 - Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their ways, and have their fill of their own devices. Proverbs 1:32 - For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the false security of fools shall destroy them.
If you are unwilling to CUT OFF all frienemies. You will become of little value to God
Proverbs 10:20 - The tongue of the righteous is choice silver but the heart of the wicked is of little value.
Proverbs 15:8 - The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD, but the prayer of the upright is his delight.
Why won’t people cut off Frienemies? They do not Fear God. Is this you?
Psalms 38: 1-4 - An oracle is within my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked; There is no fear of God before his eyes. For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin. The words of this mouth are wicked and deceitful; he has ceased to be wise and to do good. Even on his bed he plots evil; he commits himself to a sinful course and does not reject what is wrong.
Step #3: Don't Worry About Leaving Frienemies Behind... God Will Help You!
Psalms 129:4 - But the LORD is righteous. He has cut me free from the cords of the wicked.
Step #4: Don't Look Back - Walk Straight - Walk In The Fear Of The LORD. Repercussions may come, but God is worth it!
Psalms 58:3-4 - Even from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward and speak lies. Their venom is like the venom of a snake, like that of a cobra that has stopped his ears, that will not heed the tune of the charmer, however skillful the enchanter may be.
Frienemies should be an abomination to you – and if you walk straight they will not like you either. They may hate you. Many may turn on you. Their real colors will show.
Proverbs 13:19 - The desire that is accomplished, delighteth the soul: but fools hate them that flee from evil things.
Proverbs 29:27 - An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous, and he whose way is straight is an abomination to the wicked.
When you distance yourself, Frienemies may attack you, they will defend themselves and accuse you of judging them. They spew venom, they are not humble and gentle nor willing to repent, even if you try to speak the truth in love.
Remember Psalm 36 because they flatter themselves in their own eyes, too much to detect or hate their own sin. Do not worry about them, and don't be like them yourself, read the next part of the verse!
Fear the LORD enough "to reject what is wrong." Psalms 36:4
Leave Frienemies Behind.
Malachi 3:19 - Then once more you will see that I make a distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between the one who serves God and the one who does not.
Step #5: Walk With The Wise. Choose Friends Who Fear The LORD!
Proverbs 13:20 - He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.
Hebrews 3:13 - But exhort one another daily, while it is called today so that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
Don't just write off your friends because they are not perfect. But ask God to help you discern which influences in your life are friends and which influences in your life are frienemies. Then be completely faithful to obey God in the area of friendships - not matter what the cost.
Choose wisely - your life depends on it. Your relationship with God depends on it. Pursue God - and see what friends He brings in your life. Ask God to help you be a friend that will be God's blessing in the lives of others.
A PRISM Topic: is God’s Word on a single subject. A Relationship Topic is a perspective from God's Word on relationships. A PRISM Topic Packet is a grouping of PRISM or Relationship Topics of similar subjects... part of the M: Meditate on theWord of PRISM – (5 Things You Can Do Daily in God’s Word) to transform the way you think. Ask God what PRISM Topic or Relationship Topic He wants you to meditate on today.Take your PRISM Topic, Relationship Topic or Packet with you! Come back to them multiple times a day! “It is to be with him, and he is to meditate on it day and night, so that he may learn to fear the LORD…” - Deuteronomy 17:19