A Male Test
Love you all, praying for you,
I just love God’s Word. It gives truth and wisdom for big and little things. Springtime, and love is in the air. Here is one of the big decisions in life. The person you marry. Young lady, if your heart is to one day be married, to have a marriage that lasts a lifetime, that honors God, that is a true partnership with your best friend, becoming one, and becoming an example of how following God’s plan and walking in His ways, produces the ultimate blessing of marriage in your life. If this is what you are praying for. A couple of very practical things when considering candidates. Can we talk? Males come in three kinds; boys, dogs, and men. Never date boys – they cannot lead you. And your husband has to be the leader of your home, spiritually and otherwise. Never date dogs, you know what dogs do, they’ve done it before, they’ll do it again. And never date men… huh? Yes, never date men, marry one. The man God is preparing for you, He also wants to prepare you for! The man God has for you is waiting for you. He’s not focused on skirts, he’s not dating other girls, becoming intimate in conversation, attention, and affection. He’s saving that for you! He’s focused on God, and what God told him to do today, in this hour. Will you be faithful to him even now? Young men, will you be faithful to her even now? The best preparation, get wisdom, learn the fear of the LORD. Obey fully God’s plan for you today. And soak in His Word, so wisdom is on your tongue, and in your heart. Godly young lady, here’s another hint. Five Tests. You can tell a man by what he looks at, and what he laughs at, who his friends are, what he says, and how he prays. What does he look at? Is he always looking at nice cars, nice houses, nice clothes? Is he all about material things? He loves money, not God. Doesn’t matter if he goes to church. If you get tied up with him, you’ll be stuck in the curse. Does he look at every female who walks by? He doesn’t have a neck problem, he has a heart problem. If He doesn’t have eyes for you only, don’t waste your time or emotions. And you don’t find that out by dating him, you need to find that out before you invest the first minute in him. Who are his friends? They reflect him. Are they the kind that bring strippers to the bachelor party? Not the husband for you. The friends aren’t the problem, they just reflect it, it’s his character. Does He have religious friends? Those who go to church, but live like the world? Are his friends, humble, respectful, God-obeyers who push each other to Godliness, not worldliness? Friends reveal the person. What does he laugh at? Does the suffering of others make him laugh, does he find that funny? Does he laugh at the crude, vulgar, and shameless conversations of the godless? It’s a character issue. You won’t change his character, you’ll just be stuck with it. What he does before you are married, he will do even more after you are married. What does he say? Are his words life? Does his mouth overflow with the truth of God’s Word, does he build others up, are his words faith, not fear, honor, not dishonor, blessing not cursing? Does he complain when things go wrong, is he easily frustrated or upset by little things? Or when things don’t go his way? Or does he speak life, speak faith, count it all joy, and put his trust in the LORD. Does he speak God’s Word to the storm or complain about it? Is his humor dissing others, tearing them down, but like the fool, ‘only joking.’ Does he say negative things about others, does he build up or tear down? Is what comes out of his mouth - faith-filled, God’s Word directed things? You can tell what he believes by what he says. Is he gullible, politically influenced by the socialists? The Godless? The crowd-think of current culture? Or does he speak the truth of God’s Word, and operate in the humility and wisdom of God? How does he treat others, how does he treat his mother? And have you ever heard him pray? Is it a formal interaction with an outside force? Is it a frivolous familiarity lacking honor, fear, and respect? Or when he prays, does it reveal a level of intimacy that comes from full submission… He’s done this before, a lot. It’s a conversation with his father, boss and friend, you can tell there’s relationship there, obedience there, there’s history there between him and God, it’s a multiple-times-a-day thing with him. How they pray will indicate the kind of relationship they have with God, a force or a friend, submitted, or seeking stuff. One young lady said, I could tell by the way he prayed, he wasn’t the one God had for me.
Young woman or man of God. One of the most important decisions you will make in your life is your view on dating. What affections will you give someone who is not your spouse? Physiological chemistry is a powerful force. If you are dating people – there are attractive people out there. They have no character, but high sex appeal. You could end up having kids with someone God never wanted you to give the time of day to. But it’s not just about avoiding sex before marriage, is that the only thing you want to save for your spouse? What about the other affections, intimacy, and conversations – that God wants you to share with your spouse alone? All of the individual emotional investment you give to those you date, when you’re married you will forsake all others, so why give those precious things to multiple guys or multiple girls, that you will not continue friendships with. Your friend group when married, won’t be all your ex’s. You won’t have any contact with them. So how much of yourself do you want to give away? Why would you give them any intimate parts of you? Do you have to date people to find who God wants you to marry? Some people believe that. But forming personal intimate bonds with those you will not marry, leave just heartache, and heartbreak in their wake. Those bonds will have to be broken. Amicably or dumpster fire, it’s still painful, and they will take a piece of you with them. God has better. Consider Godly courtship, saving one on one time and relationship with someone you both feel God may have you marry, and are willing to start the brief discovery process to determine if this is the one God chose for you to marry. It won’t take long, and when he confirms it. Get married. If you’re not able to do that, if you’re ready to get married as soon as God confirms it… it’s not time for that kind of one on one investment yet. Dear young man or woman of God, your view on dating will affect your marriage, even who you marry, it could prevent you from marrying the one God has chosen for you. Be careful, decide beforehand, before you are under the influence… it can happen suddenly, you can fall in love quickly, that feeling isn’t what makes a marriage last. “In love” is not choosing to love. Character determines that. Make your decision now, decide beforehand – your view on dating. God has a better way. Praying that you’ll choose well. Don’t give the devil any opportunity to try to ruin you. You can trust God to lead you to the perfect one for you. Be willing to wait. Focus on God, His Plan for you today, His Word, and the wait will be way easier… you won’t really think about it, you’re too busy being about your Father’s business. And as you do that, you will suddenly find, God has brought you alongside, the one He has chosen for your best good. But if you don’t decide what your view is, and what God wants for you in the preparing, in the waiting… the devil will try to ruin you with dating entanglements, and heartbreaks. Romantic involvement with someone you won’t marry, does not honor your husband or your wife, and it will cloud your ability to even hear God’s voice.
Praise God! You can believe His Word, and trust him. Your past is past. You are not responsible for that now, you cannot change it. Praise God, you are forgiven for every bad choice, intentional or ignorance… God has made you clean. So now, from this point forward, what will you do? You cannot leave sin behind if you still do what people do who fall into it, or you still hang with those who do. If you date like the world does, you’ll do what the world does. God has better. The season of seeking a spouse seems so long, but it’s really just a short segment of your life. Be faithful in it. Keep your eyes on HIM, and His will for you, not on the opposite sex, everyone of which you will not marry (except one). Trust God, Pursue Him. If you chase it, it escapes you, if you chase God, He brings it to you. Praying that you won’t date, spending one on one time, before it’s time, until both of you are committed to pursuing God’s will for you to marry this person, and if he says yes, marry them! Some people aren’t ready to get married yet, so one on one conversations, time and intimacy together – that husbands and wives do… are premature. Guard your heart in this area. So you marry the one of God’s choosing in His perfect time, so you can start life together – walking in the center of His will, fulfilling the purpose He created for both of you – together. So how do you marry someone if you never date? First observe their character in groups, not isolated with them. Every guy can talk a good game one on one, and affections can grow quickly – with someone God doesn’t have for you. But in groups their character is revealed. Isolated conversations, time alone with another person, which leads to romantic involvement, is really what dating is. Save those intimate times for the one that God will lead you to marry, when both of you are committed to discover quickly if this is the one God has for you, and if He confirms it, you will marry them immediately. But if you or they are not in the season or position to start that short path to marriage, you’re just dating, and bonds can form quickly, that are very hard to separate. Not everyone agrees to this high of a standard, but your husband or wife will appreciate your commitment to God and them, before you even met them. It is being faithful to them, before God brings them. A marriage to someone willing to do that, will last a lifetime. Praying that you will review the Relationship Topics on Opposite Sex and Marriage, with a humble, open heart and mind. You don’t have to agree with every single point, but what you will have to decide is what you believe, and what is God’s will for you, in this area. Praying that you will choose His best! It’s so worth it!
Love you all,
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Kelly Kamentz - Jesus follower, husband, father, and friend, helping others surrender time, thoughts, money, and testimony, to fulfill their purpose!